Mediation FAQs

In a New York divorce matter, mediation is an alternative legal process that more and more divorcing couples are choosing in order to avoid the expense, devastation, and uncertainty of an adversarial divorce proceeding.

Instead of each person hiring an attorney, the couple works with a neutral and impartial divorce mediator, whose role is to help the couple identify the legal issues that must be addressed, including assets, debts, property, custody and support. The divorce mediator then acts to direct the couple’s discussions towards problem solving, and creating fair-minded compromises that are mutually acceptable to the parties.

When New York divorce mediation process is completed, the mediator draws up a Memorandum of Agreement, or Memorandum of Understanding, conveying in lay terms all of the terms agreed upon by the parties. Although it recites the basis for a mutually acceptable marital settlement between the parties, it is not, by itself, binding upon them. To be legally binding in New York State, it must be rewritten by an attorney into a Separation Agreement.

New York Divorce Mediation is a fully voluntary and absolutely confidential process.

A divorce mediator is a specially trained facilitator who serves as an impartial and neutral third party facilitating discussions between disagreeing people. An effective mediator is not also required to be an attorney, though some mediators are attorneys.

Professional divorce mediators update their skills and knowledge through continuing education and collaborating with other professionals such as other mediators, attorneys, therapists and financial planners.

A mediator is trained to help conflicted parties have productive discussions about the difficult issues of divorce and separation, with the goal of a fair and informed settlement always in mind. The couple meets with the mediator in a series of sessions until the mediation is completed.

A New York divorce mediator will help a couple to identify issues about custody, support, and property division, and assist a couple in tailoring solutions for these issues that best meet their family’s needs. Using a divorce mediator allows a couple to control the decisions that will affect their family’s lives, instead of being subject to the whim of a judge.

A divorce mediator will not make decisions for the parties, or tell parties what they ought to decide. A mediator will help a couple to arrive at their own decisions, by helping to focus a couple on the important issues and finding mutually agreeable solutions.

The divorce mediator is able to identify issues and offer suggestions of possible outcomes, thus allowing the couple to benefit from the experience of the mediator and to craft solutions that best meet their unique needs.

A skilled mediator will also be able to illuminate any potential pitfalls or unintended consequences that may result in solutions considered by the parties.

New York divorce mediation allows for increased communication in the present and future between two people who would like to resolve their marital issues without the tremendous expenses of litigation between attorneys.

Mediation is much less time consuming than traditional New York divorce. Divorce Mediation allows separating couples to remain in control of the process and the results. Mediation avoids the spiral of out-of-control litigation, and being at the mercy of attorneys and judges.

New York divorce mediation allows couples to emerge from divorce with their dignity, self-respect and finances intact. Mediation allows a family to avoid the devastating effects and anxiety that prolonged litigation and arguments will have on their children. Mediation allows parents to remain parents, and to decide together the best future for their children. Mediation leads to more parental cooperation.

Successful New York divorce mediation establishes a positive pattern of communication between parents, and a foundation for effective co-parenting of a couple’s children in the future. A mediated agreement is one that will work and endure, because the parties have chosen the terms. There is much less chance of future litigation.

New York divorce mediation is generally successful when two people are motivated to resolve their marital issues without litigation. They would rather work with a mediator than use family resources to pay two attorneys on opposite sides of a fence. They realize that each will have to compromise, and recognize the importance of avoiding further trauma on their children, and even themselves. They would like to get on with their lives.

New York divorce mediation is not just for couples who agree to mediate.  Sometimes one partner wants to separate, but the other is unsure. The divorce mediation process can be helpful in defining the realities and expectations of a partner in a relationship. It allows questions to be explored without the trauma and expense of hiring attorneys.

It is not true that New York divorce mediation is successful only where the divorce is “friendly”. In fact, there are compelling reasons for couples with less congenial, more conflicted feelings to mediate a marital dissolution.

The process of divorce litigation, which frequently occurs in traditional divorce, only widens the gulf between an already conflicted couple, and brings about even more opportunities for each to form grievances, real and imagined. With each legal salvo, there is an accumulation of additional anger and bitterness. As the conflict is expanded, families and especially children find themselves in heart wrenching, “no win” situations. Often, even spouses who would otherwise be warring are motivated to mediate an agreement, simply to spare their children the devastating effects exacted by this kind of prolonged conflict and litigation.

The presence of a divorce mediator helps the couple to have civil talks that not only lead to agreement on the terms of separation, but lays the groundwork for a cooperative future relationship.

Capital District Mediation provides New York Divorce Mediation services in Saratoga County, Albany County, Schenectady County, Rensselaer County, and Warren County.  Our office is conveniently located on Route 9 in Clifton Park, approximately 3 miles from exit 9 of 87 North.